I spent lots of time at the library today… about 5 ½ hours time. It amazes me how much is there. I know that may sound crazy to you, but I have always been a person that uses the library because I have too. I have never desired to just “use” the library. It is fun. I can thank my husband for giving me the desire to want to read and use my resources around me! I have always been a resourceful person, but wow there are resources! I know this sounds corny and crazy… probably something like, hasn’t this crazy lady discovered the library before, she has a 13 year old daughter, for sure she has had to take her there before. The answer is yes, I am crazy. Yes, I knew there was a library, and yes I have had to take her there before… on several occasions. But again that was for her and again, the sole purpose of having to be there. I hated to read! Being dyslexic, reading is irritating and puts me to sleep because it takes me so long to complete a book that isn’t of article size. But I am learning to enjoy reading and choose things that can’t defeat me!

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Two days before Christmas the staff was notified of cut backs… a couple. At that moment my heart sunk. I knew I was the one. I began to sob and couldn’t really think of what the future would hold for us, since I was the primary income for our family. We already were struggling I couldn’t imagine cutting back any further. At that moment the Lord did something…He began molding Mel’s heart and calming mine. From notification to the day, God transformed us. The change has been mesmerizing, it makes me speechless, still. Our days are filled with prayer, reading the Bible, studying the Word, deep discussion and giving. We trust our Lord and Savior-completely and it is an amazing feeling. The peace the surpasses all understanding is definitely un-comprehendible. Our future looks bright, it looks like fun and it looks God-centered!
On Wednesday, January 27, 2010 I was let go from my job at Messiah, along with five others. I was prepared and not scared. I attempted to prepare my other co-workers of my dismissal but that decided to ignore it, that it wasn’t possible… and we all know nothing is impossible with God. My friends that join me in the unemployment world are angry, hurt, saddened, and worried. I pray for them to find peace.

As for me and my family, we are excited for the change and what God has in store for us. I am going to go back to school and have officially retired… working for someone else. In this change I realized that I am worth more and I am going to work on bettering myself. Mel has encouraged me to stay off work and pursue my dream! And I am going to do just that!

The eggs are on the move, let’s pro-create!

So we have decided to try to have a baby…
So really we have decided not to use birth control. The rest is up to God!

Both of us would welcome a child, but can’t really say we want to “plan” for one. So we are leaving it in the hands of our almighty creator. If it is his desire to create a living being inside me, than so be it. He sure does have his work cut out for himself! But this is God we are talking about here, he can do anything! Remember nothing is impossible with God.

oh no what have I said… hurry honey grab the condoms!

🙂

Today we decided to cancel cable television and the internet in our home! What a change it will be. We are tired of wasting precious family time in front of it and would much rather be reading, playing games, working on the house, etc. An antenna was purchased and the four channels we get don’t amount to the worthy of it compared to cable. I will miss it, but I believe it will be worth it. Not to mention the $120 a month we will save!

At some point in life, we all will find ourselves in some kind of pit, the darkness settling around us like a paralyzing blanket of hopelessness.  That deep, dark pit may have many names, but easily becomes a prison from which escape seems impossible.  The journey out is a process of steps. 

Step One: Wait for God. 

Step Two: Cry out for help.

Step Three: Count on God.

In this world, there are few certainties. God is one. His promises are true and we can wholly trust Him to keep His Word, to do exactly what He promises to do. God promises to free us – direct us – restore us – give us joy and invites us to join Him in Kingdom work. Wow! That is quite an impressive “to do list” when you are sitting at the bottom of an ugly pit, with the shattered pieces of your life scattered around you.  But God’s ways are not our ways. 

God is drawn to brokenness.  God will hear my cry and turn to me!

During the darkest hours, I question God continually. I fling my anger at Him like a spear. My heart and soul are filled with fear and confusion instead of faith and trust. Yet, He never turns away from me. He knows every tear that I cry. I know that the more we are broken, the more we are used. I… we can count on God. 

Step Four: Be patient.

Be patient and don’t give up!  We must be patient. We must be willing to persevere. Don’t give up!  Just give in and allow God to take control.  He will turn that pit into an altar on which my broken spirit can be mended.

 Step Five: Don’t give up.

God is at work! Right now, right where I am I understand that my Father is standing beside me, with His arms wrapped around me. Listen as He gently speaks, “Don’t stop!  Keep on!  Don’t quit!”  He is the Guide for my step-by-step journey.

(bump – verb)

  1. To come together or come up against with force:
    Seriously could this describe my job any better right now? Really people we do need to come together or we WILL have people coming against us, forcefully.
  2. To proceed with sudden, abrupt movements:
    Let’s get on our knees and pray… do nothing sudden. How can you look at 25 jobs in 2 weeks and pick the right one to eliminate?
  3. To lower in rank or grade:
    To break… that is what will happen to hearts soon enough. People will feel as if their work morale has been lowered, down graded. What can we do to stop this?

(bump into – phrasal verb)

  1. To find or meet by chance: 
    By chance… haha, really by chance. This is where the Lord is speaking to me and letting me know that this is His plan, whether we like it or not.. it is. And we have to trust that it is the best way for us to follow. It might not be the easiest plan, usually isn’t and IS the most scary, but none-the-less HIS plan. 

(bump – noun)

  1. Violent forcible contact between two or more things: 
    If we are listening to the Holy Spirit this contact won’t feel so bad. It will be violent and hurtful no doubt. 
  2. An unevenness or elevation on a surface: 
    My heart will feel uneven, it will feel uneven in sides… whose to take…. 

Now honestly if I were to look at a bump and my life right now I would sum it up into these words….

A hurdle, roadblock – just something minor, not a hill or mountain, just a bump.

Something in your way, detour that you have to avoid or go over/around.

A growth, something to worry about… something to be excited about…
regardless it comes back to the same “bump” – a hurdle that you have to get through.

Keeping a positive attitude through all of this is so important! Proverbs 15.

Looking forward to the change is hard when you have no idea what to be excited about!

Forget new year’s resolutions – they are always the same – eat less, exercise more, pray, love, be good yadda yadda – we always end up breaking them anyway. So I say, this year, I am declaring my new year’s INTENTIONS. I am sharing them with you so that I can be accountable and you can let me know when I’m slacking or remind me later in the year if I haven’t done something I said I would.
You should do it too- grab a pen and make a list, it doesn’t have to be fancy just simply state your intentions. BE ACCOUNTABLE! Together we can make this year – AWESOME!

Let me start. This year I intend to:
1. Eat healthy (seriously less packaged foods and even lesser fast food meals. More fruit and veggies.)
2. EXERCISE! (I’m not going to say something like Lose 10 lbs or x number of inches – I just want to MOVE more. Get active. I realize I don’t have to belong to a gym or buy special equipment. I just have to get out there, play outside more.)
3. SAVE MONEY – (Isn’t this the great LESSON of 2009? If the last 2 years of economic upheaval have taught us anything it is to LIVE WITHIN OUR MEANS.
4. Have a Photo Exhibit.
5. Support the local economy by shopping at farmer’s markets and independent shops.
6. Go green
7. Be the best wife and mom I can be.
8. BLOG more regularly.
9. INTENTIONALLY have God in our everyday lives
10. Be better about communicating with friends I have lost touch with… make them feel as important as they really are to me!